My heartbeat is too loud.

I’m not sure if I’m breathing.

All my thoughts begin to swirl and mix.

Spinning, I am no longer anchored to the Earth.

I lay on my back.

The pain washes over me again and again.

There is a smothering heaviness in my chest.

I am soul-dark and heartbroken.

With seemingly no end to the onslaught of my hurt, I pray for death.

My skin is burning.  I want to peel it from my bones.

I want to slash and stab all the soft fleshy places on my body.

I want to pull my hair from its roots. I want to bleed.

I want it to end. I want out.

I want silence and a reprieve.

No more light, no more dark.

No more pain. I don’t want to feel.

Depression breaks my brain wide open and I become undone.