My heart is an adagio, played low and lonely as a cello piece.
Every emotion drawn, every note played.
A composition of life.
My heart burns as the bowing of the strings sing.
Inside
I am longing for your touch, to feel your body hard and on fire.
Your lips plead for me by name as you bury your face in my neck.
Pulling me into you, I hear you moan.
The heat between us as our scents mix becomes a heady cloud, thick and desperate.
Rolling around inside each other, our hands clasped, I watch your pupils dilate.
My body reels from the depth of you.
Joined and moving as one, we are turned inside out.
Breathless and satiated, we are all that exists.
Falling
My love for you swirls around my heart, jabbing, and bruising. And I miss you.
I feel your soul pull on mine.
I want to soothe and hold all the parts of you.
And it’s your kiss. Only one brush of your lips on mine makes my heart lose its balance, and I fall for you every time.
Peaceful Drift
As I lay my head against your chest, my loneliness falls asleep to the rhythm of your beating heart.
Your fingertips lightly stroking my bare back fills me with warmth as I drift.
Safe within your arms, I am tucked in and peaceful.
Sleeping in the Sunshine that is you is full gardens and lounging cats, blue sky, and bare feet in the dirt.
A place of familiarity and hope.
Home.
Suffering
You left, leaving a mark on my soul and a hole in my heart.
And now you say you are suffering.
Being without me.
You chose this path.
You made a clear and conscious decision to live without me.
Don’t compare your heartache to mine.
Suffering is the natural consequence of denying your heart.
You made me defenseless against the pain when you said you loved me and made me believe you.
I am left with no choice in my suffering.
Mistaken
You spoke the words. They said who you want to be.
You showed me your actions. That’s who you really are.
With my heart guarded but open, I allowed you in, believing in new possibilities and in love.
One more time.
But you walked away, holding your fear as a shield.
In all the years it took you to step into the light, you didn’t grow, you hid.
You told me who you wanted to be but showed me who you really are.
Now my heart is closed for good.
Frozen Mud
The clouds return, the brief appearance of Sunshine fading away.
I am cold and broken as the Spring snow settles into my soul and covers me.
My bones are tired.
I am tired.
I curse the Spring.
The clouds, the snow, the frozen mud.
The mud is hard and unmoving. Not the kind that smells of Earth and flows thickly in my hands and covers my boots. Dead, lifeless dirt.
Cold and broken, I lay in a pile. My soul is frigid and my heart is hurting.
I fear I will never see the Sunshine again.
Every time
In a hundred lifetimes, I’d choose you over and over.
This time around, I don’t get to keep you.
But love has a way of coming back.
When the dust of this lifetime settles, I will find you in the next.
And in a hundred lifetimes, it will always be you.
I will always choose you.
Waves
I sit in silence and feel you go through me.
Pushing your way in, cracking my bones open to cradle my beating heart.
The pain paralyzes me, and I can’t breathe.
The searing loss of you assaults my entire being.
You are going through me in waves and falling down my spine.
Electrifying my hair, the same as when your fingers lingered on my strands as you buried your face in my neck to inhale my scent so you could carry it with you.
I sit in my silence absorbing the pain and letting my tears stream down my face, blurring my vision, forcing my eyes to close.
I catch my breath as I see your face. I settle into the waves and feel it all.
The pain and memories of you are all I have left.
Wind Through my Windows
You walked into my life, opened the windows, and let new wind into my world.
Chasing away the old stale ghosts I shared space with, you dusted off the parts of me that sat on a shelf for too long.
You feel like home.
You are pillows stacked high, all my favorite things, and a safe space to land.
The kindness that is you, fresh and inviting, like the sheets on the bed we roll around in.
Lay my heart next to yours, and I will finally rest.