“Losing love is like a window in your heart. Everybody sees your blown apart. Everybody sees the wind blow.”
Paul Simon
I am walking around with this loss.
The window in my heart, curtains pushed aside, everybody can see the raw.
Everybody sees the bloody beating of my broken heart.
I am blown apart.
Simon, Paul (1986) Graceland. Warner Bros.
The unfinished conversations remain.
Each one, sorted by topic, is in my brain.
Sometimes I take one out to have on my own.
But I end up sad and frustrated.
I put it back. For now, I’ll keep them tucked inside my head.
Maybe, someday they will unravel and fall away.
Unfinished but no longer important.
You lay inside me and tell me you love me.
My name is said with warmth from your lips.
Your hands, your arms, you reach for me needing comfort and reassurance.
Your dishonesty destroys it all.
Your inability to be truthful with yourself wrecks it all. Your expressions of love are true but lost to your warped reality.
You will never really have the love you need until you live authentically.
One foot in and one foot out of two worlds is a chaotic place to live.
I want to stay in your embrace. Your arms are warm and comforting.
I want to inhale you. Your scent is familiar and heady.
I want to kiss you until the last name on your lips is mine.
I want to breathe into each other until all that remains is the sound of our heartbeats, the merging of our souls, and the Universe spread wide in our eyes.
To live without such a delicious love is to live without beauty, without the light of a heart that loves fully.
And to be left alone, missing the spark that makes all the fire in your belly isn’t living, it’s going through the motions, it’s settling, It’s life without color.
An ordinary day filled with moments of extraordinary spread across the Universe. The twists, trials, and miracles of life. The Karmic wheel ever spinning.
All that extraordinary filling an ordinary day.
All the (extra)ordinary is what makes life beautiful and tragic, (extra)ordinary is what makes life worth living.
I breathe in and out. Each breath is ordinary, but it is extraordinary that I’m still here.
I was running to the light, against the wind
Pushing forward, looking for a way into the Sun.
Blown backward, I lost my breath and my will.
I sat down in the darkness and wept.